


Marbles

by Aylaar



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Draco Malfoy & Harry Potter Friendship, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Friends to Lovers, Funny Draco malfoy, Good Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Hogwarts Eighth Year, M/M, Neurotic Draco Malfoy, Not Epilogue Compliant, POV Draco Malfoy, Unsure if Crackfic or I'm just cracking up, marbles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-19 09:40:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29748564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aylaar/pseuds/Aylaar
Summary: Draco had become obsessed with collecting marbles. It wasn’t even a useful hobby, it was mostly an annoyance. During the school holidays he’d become so consumed in his own self hatred he’d decided to venture into the Muggle world, angry at himself, his family and the entirety of the wizarding world.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20





	Marbles

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so here I am with what I describe as the weirdest fic you'll ever read? (Maybe?) but anyway, this one is finished and I'll just post a chapter a day because like, I'm not sure what else to do. You probably need eased into it like a pair of jeans that are a little too tight.

Draco had become obsessed with collecting marbles. It wasn’t even a useful hobby, it was mostly an annoyance. During the school holidays he’d become so consumed in his own self hatred he’d decided to venture into the Muggle world, angry at himself, his family and the entirety of the wizarding world. One rainy Sunday he’d just upped and left, thinking about his trial left a bitter taste in his mouth, he couldn’t leave the Manor without being heckled by other wizards, shunned by society - he’d thrown down his Hogwarts letter in frustration more than anything, he couldn’t believe he was allowed to go back for his Eighth Year, it seemed completely ridiculous they’d let an ex-Death Eater back into the Castle.

That Sunday, he’d decided ‘fuck it’ which was rapidly becoming his new motto. Wandering down the wet, uneven paths of London he’d come across a gift shop. Draco’s downfall was shiny objects, his eyes landing on a random ‘bargain bin’ of glass marbles. Fast forward a month later and Draco owned almost thirteen thousand marbles. Every single one different to the last, he’d even begun looking up guides on what a random Muggle in an electronics store called the ‘internet’. 

Instead of practicing Potions, Draco had decided that the three thousand marbles he’d found all around the world was _not_ good enough. Definitely not, of course he had to start making his own marbles.

Narcissa, to her credit, was just happy Draco had found something to put his time into instead of smashing vases and screaming about how life was so unfair like a petulant child. 

“Are you excited to go back to school?” she’d asked one morning, Draco had looked at her thunderously and stormed off to his ‘marble room’ as he dubbed it. Instead of shopping in Diagon Alley for his school supplies, Draco spent his entire day making new marbles.

\--

The day had dawned and Draco was sat glowering at the other side of his compartment on the Hogwarts Express, he had a pocket full of marbles and his suitcase had a few hundred in it too, he decided if he was going he’d at least have his marbles.

It was hilarious to him really, he thought about it long and hard and came to the conclusion the marbles were a way of showing people he hadn’t _lost_ his marbles. A laugh escaped his lips, he really was a funny man. A very funny man.

The door to his compartment opened, he looked up quickly and glared at whoever was on the other side of the door. “Excuse me, this is occupied.” he said through gritted teeth. A short laugh came from the other side, Potter’s head poking through the small gap he’d left. “This isn’t a public toilet Malfoy, let me sit here.” Potter said, rolling his eyes at the blond.

Draco let out an exasperated sigh and sniffed. “Fine, but if you get in the way I’ll throw marbles at you until you die and then I’ll be thrown in Azkaban, is that really what you want, Potter? To die and have your favourite nemesis, because let’s face it I’m really the only one you have left, thrown in a cell after you worked _so_ hard to stop myself and my dear mother from ending up there, cold, dar-”

Harry cut him off by walking through the door and holding his hand up in defeat. “Alright Malfoy, alright, calm your fucking tits, holy Merlin’s dick cheese.” 

Draco cringed. What a philistine. 

\--

The rest of the train journey went relatively uneventfully much to Draco’s dismay, he didn’t get to throw a _single_ marble at Potter’s stupid head. It definitely was a stupid head too, what the bloody hell does one do with such a stupid head?

“Potter, why do you have such a stupid head?” he finally asked, looking at the man expectantly. Potter raised an eyebrow, then frowned. “Are you alright Malfoy? You’re acting a bit…” he trailed off, as if lost in thought.

“What Potter, I’m acting a bit what?” Draco said, looking rather affronted.

“Weird, like you’ve lost your-” 

“Marbles?” Draco asked, a wild smirk appeared on his face as he held out his hand, full of glass marbles.

“I have them, Potter, they’re right here.”

Looking at Malfoy’s hand, Harry looked from the marbles, to Draco, then back to the marbles, then to Draco, the most puzzled look upon his face, before he burst into a fit of laughter. “Wh-” he choked out, shaking his head and holding on to his stomach. “What..” he wheezed, a tear forming in the corner of his eye.

“Whatheactualfuck” Potter said, somewhat mashed together. Draco raised an eyebrow and pulled his hand back, pocketing his prized marbles. As the train came to a halt, Draco pulled down his suitcase and left a hysterical Potter behind.

What a weirdo.


End file.
